Site update

I’m once again in the middle of trying to transfer this blog to a wordpress.org account.

It’s unpleasant.  No posts.  No nothing.  Until it’s resolved.  You’d think that these people taking my money would provide some sort of customer service…  You’d think.

The Body backs S’93 (kind of)

In the Bud Selig is a hypocrite podcast from Friday, Yankee Tim and I wondered aloud how Bud Selig has escaped prosecution.

Jesse “The Body” Ventura is wondering the same thing.

Angry Warren Raptor Trade Talk

Angry Warren and I sat down over a beverage to dissect the transfer of garbage between the Miami Heat and Toronto Raptors.

Angry Warren Raptor trade talk Podcast

Click here to subscribe in iTunes.

Raptors Trade Jermaine O’Neal and Jamario Moon

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The Mike Wilner Impression

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Here’s the post in question.

An interesting link.

People bypassing traditional sports media in favor of blogs.

The link is from February of ‘07, so it certainly isn’t new.

Colin Cowherd is launching a website soon, and he is going to link to The Big Lead, a site that, once upon a time, he blew up.

This reminds me of a famous quote that I made up:

The times they are a changin’ – Stephen Amell.

Bud Selig Musings

EDITOR’S NOTE: Yankee Tim and I discussed this post and it’s degree of perfection in a wonderful podcast.

The Bud Selig is a hypocrite Podcast

Click here to subscribe in iTunes.

When Bud Selig suggested yesterday that he is considering a punishment for hero to purple-lipped people everywhere, Alex Rodriguez, I got excited.  Uber-excited.

A couple of factoids / observations:

1. The A-Rod Leak (great terminology) is the responsibility of Major League Baseball.  That’d be you, Budrick.  The player’s only agreed to be tested because you guaranteed anonymity.  In the end, it doesn’t matter (at all) who was responsible for the leak.  The simple fact it occured falls in your lap.
2. The combined suspension so far for admitted steroid users Miguel Tejada, Andy Pettite, Jason Giambi and Gary Sheffield?  Zero games.  That’s what the lawyer-folk call precedent.
3. Concurrent to point number-one, any suspension levied by your office should be met with one motherfucker of a lawsuit from Rodriguez and the Player’s Union.
4. The slippery slope is just beginning…  Thus far you have escaped investigation with respect to your knowledge of steroid use in the game, both as an owner and commissioner.  After all, the “steroid era” (more on that in a moment) has led to unprecedented profit for the league and you.  Actually, this deserves it’s own number.
5. The Major League Baseball office employs 242 people.  For their most recent fiscal year the total outlay for employee compensation and benefits was $98,900,000.  So, for everybody scoring at home, the average MLB employee makes approximately $375,000 in base compensation.  If the league filled up with a bunch of guys that look like David Eckstein, people might be taking a pay-cut.  These are the facts.

A quick note on the term, “steroid era”.  The vocal inflection of the mainstream media seems to suggest that the “steroid era” of baseball is in the past.  It isn’t.  There are designer drugs out there and players are taking them.  This will continue to happen.  Moreover, there is no test for HGH.

The market for people interested in cheating is far more voracious than the appetite for them to be caught.  This will never change.  Suggesting that this is a problem in Major League Baseball that been controlled and compartmentalized to (approximately) 1994 – 2006 is absurd.

This information certainly isn’t earth-shattering, but I think it’s interesting.  Selig overstepping his authority with A-Rod has a “Jack Bauer going into the Chinese Consulate” quality about it.  And we know what happened to Jack.

Criticism and trading Chris Bosh

I freaked out today over at Raptors Forum. Let’s talk it out…

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Time to trade Chris Bosh

Before I suggest that Colangelo should trade Chris Bosh…  Some random thoughts:

Me thinky Roko should be playing (and should have played) on a regular basis.  I suppose the coaching staff finally got fed up with Will Solomon wandering around the floor like he just accidentally swallowed a roofie.

Was CB4 heading over to Jack Horner’s house for All-Star weekend or was he leaving right after the game?  When Roko dropped his runner over Parker to give the Raps the lead, Bosh even gave us an inappropriate facial expression to go with his outfit.  Let’s have a round of applause for Chris.

Random subsection: Did you know that there is a paleontologist named Jack Horner?  Do you think that, at one point, he had an assistant come into his office for the following exchange:

Assistant: “Mr. Horner, P.T. Anderson has a new film out that centers around the porn industry in the 1970’s.  The patriarch of this pornography cult is called Jack Horner.”

(Ten seconds of silence.)

Jack Horner (Paleontologist): “Pterodactyl’s nurtured their young, you imbecile.  Fetch me my notepad.”

End of random subsection.

It’s time for everybody to stop the whole, “I was so embarrassed to see Stevie Wonder performing with the Jonas Brothers.  How could they do that to Stevie?  That was awful.”

First of all, shut the fuck up.  There’s nothing wrong with the Jonas Brothers.  They play their instruments, they can sing, they haven’t released a sex tape.  What more do you want?  Most importantly, I think they compare favorably with Grover’s musical skills:

I’m not sure what would happen if you put the present incarnation of Joaquin Phoenix on a movie-set with Christian Bale, but I’d like to think that somebody would be smart enough to bring recording equipment.

Mehmet Okur is a nice basketball player.  The bucket he hit last night to pull the Jazz ahead was tremendous.  That’s one side of the equation.  The other side?  He’s inspired at least one human being to grow a chin-strap beard.  That’s one too many.

(Advance apology for an abrupt segue.)

I’ve got to take issue with notable podcast guest, all around good guy and possible secret employee of the Blue Jays marketing staff EyeBLeaf over at Sports and the City.  Isn’t this headline a little offside, or, at the very least, misleading?

Roberto Alomar has AIDS

What say you?

(Hopefully, this isn’t like the “when keeping it real goes wrong” sketch on Chapelle’s Show for yours truly.  EyeBLeaf and I have an escalating wager on the ‘09 Jays, I don’t want to mess it up.)

Bill Simmons annual NBA trade value column hits the interweb this afternoon.  If his podcast yesterday is any indication, Jose Calderon is nowhere to be seen.  Not even in the honorable mention section.  Billy should probably just instruct somebody at ESPN to delete any email that comes from the Greater Toronto Area for the next 96 hours.  It’s for the best.

A moment on Chris Bosh, please:

As a Raptor fan, how are you enjoying the Jermaine O’Neal experience?  I can’t imagine too many of you would rate it as a positive, unless you have masochistic inclinations.  From what I can tell, Bosh’s ceiling as a player is right around O’Neal’s.  Let’s look at some numbers:

Chris Bosh’s stats over his first six seasons:

This season projects as the fourth consecutive season that Chris Bosh will play fewer games.  What’s alarming here is that in this time he hasn’t had a serious injury. We’re talking sprained knees, tweaked ankles and general wear and tear.

Some more numbers:

Uh-oh.  Suggesting that there has been a gradual decline, is debatable.  Suggesting Chris Bosh peaked as a player in 2006 – 07 (a year in which he missed 13 games) is not.  The numbers are right there.  I don’t think it’s unreasonable to suggest, that based on the body of evidence, Chris Bosh as your superstar is a risky proposition.  Which brings me to the most important set of statistics:

2006 – 07: 47 wins / 2007 – 08: 41 wins / 2008 – 09: Projecting around 30 wins

Any way you slice it, that’s the opposite of improvement.

Contrast that with our buddy Jermaine.:

I’ve picked up his body of work once he was traded to Indiana:

If you disagree with what I’m about to say, you might want to avoid looking at those numbers after I type the next sentence.

Chris Bosh will be lucky to reach the same level as Jermaine O’Neal at his apex.  O’Neal anchored a 61 win team that lost to the eventual NBA Champion Pistons in a six-game conference final.  The following year they spanked Detroit in their first meeting before Ron Artest went crazy.  The rest is history.

In 413 games as a pro Chris Bosh has displayed questionable durability.  Colangelo should trade him while he stock is still high (and before a serious knee injury that feels almost inevitable).  A foundation of Bargnani and Calderon, while not terribly impressive, is still a foundation.  Factor in a high draft pick, cap space, contract security with Bargnani and Calderon and whatever you get back for Bosh and I’m half-way excited.  I’d even suggest keeping O’Neal and his ludicrous salary for another year.

See…  That was better than a recap of what other people are saying.  (Hopefully.)

Jamie Campbell gets FREAKY

Jamie Campbell just made my year.

You will never, ever, read a better intro than this:

Dear Evan,

We met a few times last summer, though briefly.

I have a huge favour to ask, and I will understand if you politely decline: I need you to pee in a bottle and then hold a press conference. It’s an odd request, I know, but hear me out.

There’s more:

Don’t underestimate the value of baseball heroes. My first two were Lyman Bostock and George Brett. One died in his prime and the other made the Hall of Fame. Neither can be accused of taking anything stronger than chewing tobacco (or “Preparation H”) and no one has ever questioned the validity of their statistics.

Really?  George Brett played in the same era as McGwire and Canseco, didn’t he?  He was also famous for being hyper-competitive.  I’m sure that all the players doing steroids around him just rolled off his back.  Oh, and he had one of the most famous “freak out” moments in the history of professional sports.  Roid-rage anyone?  (These gentlemen do a superb job of reenacting “Pine-Tar-gate.”)

Unbelievably, miraculously, against all odds, things are about to get a little weirder:

Baseball has worthy heroes right now. Good ones, clean ones, like Roy Halladay, Derek Jeter, Justin Morneau, and Ryan Braun. But you’ve got that gap-toothed smile, the sweet power stroke, and you’re fresh out of the box.

Sweet holy Jesus.  Hey Jamie?  It’s time sit a few plays out, pal.

Or, in lieu of that, I’ll bet you $1,000 bucks that one of the players you mention (including Morneau) is linked to steroids at some point before the end of their career.

Now that I think of it, this might explain your play-by-play.  It must be difficult to call the action with your head so far up your own ass.

(I actually like your play-by-play.)

Seriously though, are you that naive?  Is there anybody out there who would be shocked if Halladay tested positive for steroids?  I cetainly wouldn’t be.  The guy was a Category-Five disaster in 2000, before returning to the majors with a 96 mph fastball and a penchant for screaming expletives (at himself) at the end of every half-inning.

That letter isn’t going to accomplish anything for you.   (Aside from increasing the likelihood that you’re going to have a restraining order filed against you on 19 separate occasions this year).

I’m flabbergasted.  This is literally flabbergasting.

Jamie Campbell pens a love-letter.